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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Seeing People in a Different Light...

It seems society creates problems for itself.  The media fills out heads with all of these "fears" that haunt us every day.  They find these "studies" done to fill gaps in the news program due to the lack of interesting things going on in that area, or nationally, for that matter.

Most people fear the usual: death, pain, heartache, illness, betrayal.  Those are common fears to have.  The majority of them are backed up by the media for the sole purpose of giving the viewer something to dwell on a little more... As if their life isn't interesting enough to dwell on to begin with...

My fears are rather unusual compared to the normal fears that society drills into our heads.  I call them false I's something for the reporters to do in order to make their segment more interesting than the rest.  The things that haunt me go beyond that.  I am haunted by the mother who can't provide for her children; the family forced to live on $100 worth of groceries per month.  I am haunted by the man who can't bring himself to get up from the bar and go home; instead, he drinks himself into oblivion and causes a tragic accident.  I am haunted by the young boy who knows where his father's pistol is hidden, and he sits on the edge of the bed, gun in hand, contemplating on whether or not he should go through with it...

Always remember that someone somewhere has it worse than you.  People would give their life to have problems as petty as yours.  Many people have given their lives just to have the simpler problems that you might consider to be hell on earth.  Always remember that no one has it easy, no matter what you might see on the outside.  Something is burning within that person, their fears, and the things that haunt them.  I know very few people who have it better than I do, and I'm thankful everyday for not being cursed with a problem so intense and so huge that I physically can't take it anymore.  I'm thankful that the thought of taking my life doesn't cross my mind because living through my problems seems to be a lot more educational than ending it.  I'm thankful that my past was rough and my family is tapped.

 However, I'm more thankful to realize the infectious people in my life and realizing what I want and don't want in my life.  Most of the people in my life weren't worthy of being my friend.  I'm not saying I'm God, however, I'm more than good to my friends... People use and abuse that privilege.  I will no longer be used and abused by the people out there that expect something from this world.  I expect nothing from no one.  I rely on no one but myself.  I count on no one emotionally.  I count on no one physically.  I don't need to rely and depend on others.  People who feel as though the world owes them something should be shot repeatedly...that is what the world owes you.

I've realized in the past year or so that the one person who you might fully depend on will probably destroy you.  I've learned to take things others say with a grain of salt, however, I always remember to get revenge to teach them a lesson.  I've learned new revenge tactics...ones greater than any revenge tactic around.  Ones that can seriously destroy a person's life within no time at all.

I'm slowly beginning to love those who doubt me... Not because I have to, but because I'm going places, they aren't.  The jealousy around these doubts is what keeps me going.  I hope you're jealous of me.  I hope you're jealous of my lifestyle and my knowledge.  I hope you're jealous of the fact that I am not only smarter than you (hence why some don't like my writing - it's because it's proper, to the point, and beautifully constructed), I am also going farther than you'll ever imagine going.

I've realized that I'm a lot less trusting now.  I used to be so trusting with everyone in my life, however, I find that if you are too trusting with some, they twist your stories and focus solely on making your life miserable, because they are miserable themselves.  I've realized that even the greatest of friends can fuck you over.  You've gotta find it in your heart to forgive.  I've been that friend that has fucked many people over.  I've been that friend that tested and pushed friendships to their limits, and in the end, I've realized who's really going to stick around through it.  I have only two people in my life that I can honestly say I trust... Often times more than I can trust myself and I'm more than thankful for them.

The one thing I'm learning and realizing the most is that you can't choose your family.  However, you can choose not to associate with your family.  If you can't trust family, who can you trust?  I'll tell you who you can trust... Trust those who have stuck by your side through thick and thin.  Trust those that prove themselves worthy and aren't afraid to be honest with you no matter what.  And always be careful with your trust... Many people take it and twist it until you can trust no longer.  But the key thing to keep in mind... The one person who isn't going to fuck you over.... Is YOU!

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