Have you ever had that feeling that you just want to run away? Not to any particular destination, not with any goal in mind except to forget all you're leaving behind? Do you ever sit at your desk and pray that one day you can live on a beach and let the cool ocean breeze penetrate deep within your mind and release the burdens that make your life unbearable at times?
I really thought this was going to be my year. I have great people in my life and a job and all of the luxuries I could want based on my simple-girl mentality. Yes, there will always be bumps that will slow me down, but never anything to put a halt on this production that I call my life. Suddenly, without my controlling it, things spiraled out of my control. Things happened, both good and bad, that stopped me from moving forward but didn't push me back, either. I'm just standing still...watching the entire world function before my eyes and move ahead in their races, while I patiently await the opportunity to do so myself.
Now, I crave silence. I want to run away from the stand-still my life has become. I want peace with no interruptions so I can clear my mind and make the decisions that will start this production again and let it flow freely to get me on the path in which I belong.
Someday, things will be back in order and I will shine again. Until then, I anxiously wait for my chance, for things to quiet down, for that break in the wind so I can breathe again.
I get that feeling all the time. Wanting to just empty my bank account, pack up my clothes and anything I could fit into my car and drive to California or somewhere else warm and beachy and start over. It feels like everyone's lives are moving forward while mine is at a standstill too. All these people graduating from college and getting their careers started and getting married and having kids and all those things makes me feel pathetic for not having my college degree yet, single, and yes living with my parents and working a crappy job so I can chop away at classes while I pay for school since one of my mistakes led me to lose financial aid. I could've been done with school by now, it's frustrating feeling stuck.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think life slows down to a halt and makes you watch as everything passes so that you see that you need to get back on track and get motivated again. I think you should take some time & get away. Take a week atleast and just go somewhere. I wouldnt tell anyone where your going, just go. Find where your soul wants to take you, and follow it.
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