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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

In The Eyes of Trust

The most simple, yet most irritating part of our the human persona is trust.  It's not something that plays on our minds day in and day out.  We don't go out hunting for people to trust as we do people to love or befriend.  Trust is always part of some sort of package deal when you meet someone worth the trust you want to give them.  However, trust can twist things.  It can take away every fiber of a relationship, whether it be personal or work related.  It can be the lone serial killer of acquaintances and close relationships you once found worthy.

I write today to mourn a few relationships in which were brutally murdered by the factor of trust.  May they rest in peace.  The loss of these relationships have proven a vital point as to why trust should be played out in levels as opposed to groups.  For instance, I don't fully trust every single person I know with every single event in my life - that is my self trust level (plus, who would want to hear every single detail of one's life?).  My best friends, mother, and boyfriend are on their own level.  My father and brother are on their own level.  My family is on another.  Coworkers and acquaintances remain on another level, at the lowest tier of the totem pole.

I recently lost trust in people I once trusted quite a bit.  I also lost respect for them.  When I lose trust and/or respect for someone, I generally wash my hands of them.  I see them when I have to and I keep all conversation below the "serious" line.  One of these people also found it necessary to embarrass me by opening battle scars that have long since healed.  They found it necessary to reminisce of a war that has been over for years and ridicule my part in the war.

Although the series of events that have happened in the last week have shaken things up, I've also found peace and a sense of relief with the loss of these relationships.  I've formed stronger relationships with people who matter more and I've met some beautiful people along the journey.  Sometimes, the adventure of discovering people isn't quite what you think it is.  It doesn't take years to form or break a relationship with someone.  For me, it took a week to discover more about myself and the people I truly love.  In my eyes, that makes the trust factor worth waiting out and it makes the journey a much more enjoyable experience. 

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